How To Deal With Failure & Overcome The Fear Of It.

What failure is to me has changed in the past six months.

I used to always perceive failure as a conclusion of something when it’s actually not it’s a mere bump in a much bigger journey.

As long as I can recall, everything I am good at today; I have failed at, one time or another.

This thought fascinates me, when I realized this few months ago it changed my whole outlook on what failure is and how we perceive it; we create this fear of failure which is often times worse than the failure itself.

Why?

Due to the fact that the fear of failure stops you from taking the necessary steps to prevent that failure; it takes you to this ‘what if’ land where all you do is feel bad for what you cannot change while wasting time not changing what you can.

One can’t afford to panic when faced with a failure. We need are focus then, more than ever in order to be able to deal with that failure. We don’t know yet, but there may potentially be something we can do. There may not, but there may in some circumstances be something we could do in the midst of that failure that could resolve some portion of it.

I am very grateful for some of the mistakes I have made which have led to my failures, its due to them that I have been able to reform and improve myself on the basis of what those failures taught me and its only recently that I faced the biggest failure.

It was when I failed in my A levels Exam; Got a U grade in physics.

To be honest deep inside I knew I would get a U from the moment I walked outside the examination hall, I still remember how I felt, it was feeling of guilt, hopelessness and disappointment all merged into one.

It was as if I had failed and was a failure.

Physics was something in past I was excellent at in fact in my previous matriculation examination I scored 99% in my physics exam. Those few moments of utter shame shook me to the core!

They hit a cord that was hiding very deep inside, I remember having to gasp for air. It was a decisive moment in my life and as I write about it, I can recall and feel the horror I faced then.

Few days following that incident I quit smoking hash it was 2^nd June. Overcoming addiction helped me recover my lost self-esteem. My journey towards improving myself had started! It was because of one reason: Acceptance.

I accepted that it was no one’s fault but my own. I didn’t blame, I didn’t complain. I knew I messed up and I knew it was time to get my act together. So I prepared for the exams again and reappeared the same year.

BUT this whole time period of 4-5 months taught me a lesson that I’ll never forget and that was that failure is not necessarily always a bad thing.

Success requires failure and we must accept failure to be the catalyst for achieving success.

I now believe that failure is a prerequisite for success and it’s the resilient people that never give up that become successful, it’s not that they have never failed it’s just that they don’t believe that to be the conclusion of the story.

You cannot be a failure. You are not the result of what you do. Start choosing to see failure as lessons and you will be successful. Simple change in mindset can have huge results; we often undermine the importance of thoughts

So if we want to overcome fear of failure then we must start with changing what we perceive failure as.

Easier said than done, I know but for you my readers I have carefully crafted a plan.

Analyze all possible outcomes:

If you fear failure and think how if you fail, you will get robbed of all the things you cherish then try to analyze all possible outcomes. Removing that feeling of unknown which can be the main reason for fear can help in overcoming it.

Worst case-scenario:

Sometimes just recognizing what’s the worst that can happen can actually relive you of fear considering that it’s not that disastrous other times it can actually be frightening but in either case thinking about the worst case scenario can remove the element of surprise.

Knowing what the worst thing that can happen is, can also help you plan for how you’re going to deal with it in case it does happen.

If you’re not able to think about the worst case-scenario than you can’t expect to be prepared emotionally or mentally if it happens.

Choose to think better thoughts:

Negativity has all sorts of undesirable effects but in the case of fear of failure, it can make things worse then they already are.

Simply because fear combined with negativity creates nothing less than chaos. Another reason why negativity sucks is, because it will rob you from planning for in case you do fail. As law of attraction states; you attract what you think most about and it’s very true as I have shown how it has worked for me in my post about thoughts.

While when you think positively you are calmer and more focused, you can’t be fearful and be positive at the same time. Positivity will help you better plan and better face your failure if it so happens that you do fail.

I love how Henry Ford puts it:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

–Henry Ford

Have a plan:

Having a plan to follow for if you fail can give you so much relief that it can help you move forward. It can help you with staying positive since you won’t be unprepared.

It can boost your moral and it helps you overcome fear in the present moment. Have a plan not in a “What if?” sense, but in a “Here’s what I will do,” sense.

If you feel resistance in taking action on that plan then be sure to read our article on how to get things done.

Can Fear Be Good?

I believe yes it can be.

How?

It can be good when it can act as motivator and mind you fear can be a very strong motivator. Fear at times can push you towards the edge and then make you take the leap. It can make you try harder and can make you work like you have never worked before.

But it can only help you if you let it. So if fear is something that you feel can motivate you then make use of it by letting it direct your energies towards a positive outcome or a solution.

Is there anything such as Successful Failure?

Yes, A successful failure is one that you have recognized as a failure and learned something from.

The Goal:

The ultimate goal is to focus on what you can do right Now? What can you focus on Now? What can you change now that can help you? Find those things!

At no point in time should you ever feel that there is nothing you can do or there is nothing that can be done. If there is nothing that can be done then an important lesson can be learned which I would never term as nothing.

The focus should be on the future not on the past. You should decide to do better in future not think what if you had done better in past because that leads to nowhere. Failures can empower you and help you if you recognize it to be a stepping stone in your journey, don’t prepare for failure but if you do fail don’t let it get to you.

When you fail, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.

If you focus on where you want to end up, what your goal is then intermediate failures don’t even matter. They’re just bumps in the road.

By commenting share a story of how a certain failure taught you a lesson that you will never forget.

The post How To Deal With Failure & Overcome The Fear Of It. appeared first on Walk Of Life.